Review: I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver

A friend recommended this book to me a little while ago, and it just so happened that the next time I was at the bookstore, I found a copy of it on display. It felt like a sign to pick it up and read it. And I’m so glad I did! I read this book in two days, and I think I would’ve read it in one if I’d had the time that first day.

Summary

Ben De Backer hasn’t seen their sister since she left home while the rest of the family was away. But she’s the only one they can call when their parents throw Ben out of the house. They thought coming out as nonbinary would go more smoothly, expecting some questions, but hoping for continued love and support. Instead, they are left in a phone booth in the middle of winter, with only the clothes on their back and the memory of their sister’s phone number.

Now, Ben has to start the new year in a new town and at a new school, while balancing getting to know their sister and her husband, who Ben has never met. On top of all that, they are learning to navigate their new environment and dealing with staying in the closet for fear of rejection again. They just need to get through one last semester.

Review

I Wish You All the Best tackles the positives and negatives of queer young-adulthood and shares with readers some of the impacts. At the beginning of the book, Ben is kicked out by their parents after coming out, which is an unfortunate reality that some teens have to contend with when exploring their identity. In addition to that, Ben also struggles with a fear of rejection as a result, and because of it, chooses to stay in the closet at their new school. This book could be used to open up an important discussion about the use of proper pronouns and how they can be extremely validating for individuals exploring their gender identity. But is also raises the concerns about how specifically addressing your pronouns can lead to outing yourself. In today’s climate, more people are starting to include their pronouns in introductions and email signatures, however, until the majority of the population consistently is comfortable using and discussing pronouns, it can and will be difficult for queer people to not out themselves.

Queer life is often depicted as the tragedy resulting from coming out, where they lose family and friends, left to fend for themselves. But that is not the whole of queer life, but rather one facet of it. I Wish You All the Best certainly tackles all of the negatives, but it also showcases the good. In Aiden Thomas’s Cemetery Boys, they claim that “queer folks are like wolves. We travel in packs” (Thomas, 125), which I find to be a very applicable statement in my own life, as well as in this book. Even though Ben isn’t seeking out queer friends, they are still able to gain them, in the form of Mariam, a friend they had prior to coming out, and Nathan.

In addition to that, Ben works to repair their relationship with their sister, Hannah, and forms new relationships with a number of teens and adults in their life. Ben is also able to explore their love for art more through the art classes and school-sponsored art show. While every piece wasn’t always perfect, they were still able to grow their passion and use it as a creative outlet during the massive changes they experienced.

Final Thoughts

If you’re looking for a quick read with just as many heartwarming moments as it does heartbreaking, I Wish You All the Best just might be for you. While it makes use of many common tropes in queer literature, it adds a new perspective to them and expands on them to create well-rounded characters trying to survive their last semester of high school.

This book does discuss anxiety, misgendering, and negative coming out experiences, so if that’s something you’re not comfortable reading, this book may not be for you.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their sexuality or gender identity, take a look at some of these resources.
The Trevor Project (TrevorLifeline 1-866-488-7386)
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)
GLBT National Help Center

I read the 2020 paperback edition of I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. The book was originally published in 2019.

If you’d like to pick up a copy for yourself or a friend, check out the following links:
Bookstore Link: Link
Barnes & Noble: Link
Amazon: Link